I’m a summer camp kid from way back. I didn’t know what to
expect at my first camp, and although I tried to keep my expectations to a
minimum, I did allow myself to imagine I’d feel some sense of connection to my
younger and less jaded self from my camp counselor days. The DOSF community
made me feel utterly welcome and included and that means so much to me. I felt
like I was living out a camp fantasy I’d never had the imagination to dream up
before.
We were like a giant civilization of unsupervised kids –
dirty, sweaty, naked, showing off for each other, sharing with each other, watching
one another without judgement, letting ourselves be watched without
self-consciousness, role-playing, fucking each other, beating one another up, peeing
on things, playing the most imaginative games we could conceive, sometimes
sexy, sometimes silly, sometimes serious, and always done with truth. It felt
like living with the Lost Boys in Never-Never Land, but with more sex.
I got to use my sexuality in a way I’d not done in years. I
hadn’t realized, but I’d been holding it in check for various reasons, and I
was less of myself for it. My sexuality is who I am, and I hadn’t been
completely myself, and now I feel more me than I was before camp.
There was so much sincerity, all around me, from others, and
within me. That level of realness is magical.
I love getting positive feedback from people who take my classes.
It makes me feel useful.
I wished I’d been able to feel a little more vulnerable, but
in my heart I am a guarded person and this was my first time around 90% of the
people I interacted with. I do know that I want to interact with many of them
more in the future – I want to really *know* them, in the sense that we become
intimately familiar with one another. That makes me hopeful, which is such a
nice way to feel. I hope I’ve successfully expressed to those people who they
are in a way that makes sense to them, but I’m a little afraid I might not
have.
Compersion still does not come naturally to me, but I keep
trying.
I’m not sure my inner animals necessarily want to come out
right now, but the Paws-for-All class did get me thinking about what they need
even if they decide to stay hidden, and I’m grateful – thanks,
@MaestroStephanos and @SilverSenta.
Being able to casually refer to someone your Stunt Cock/Penis-in-Residence
makes a person feel pretty baller.
My mind was completely blown by the Radical Body Acceptance
practiced 100% of the time at camp. I was reminded there is no “normal” kind of
body. Every single person’s body is unique and it’s theirs and at camp they all
seemed to really own that, and I found that beautiful and affirming, and it
will stay with me.
The most important things to me remain: to feel loved,
useful, and welcome.
My tying is better when I do pick-up play and not planned
scenes. This is a thing I get to explore and learn about myself now.
I found myself feeling
genuinely intoxicated by joy on more than one occasion.
I feel so incredibly grateful to have been at this event. I
cannot thank Dark Odysssey for having me out to teach, and I really hope I get to
experience another. There is more to process to be sure but this is a reasonable
start for someone who needs about 18 consecutive hours of sleep!
